ayyyyy macarena /

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girl: come over
guy: im gay
girl: my parents arent home
guy: im literally gay

eyeballfarts:

life hack: shut the heck up

originalxbox:

"skype is a useful tool for keeping in touch with your loved ones"

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eyeballfarts:

pros of having a unicorn for a boyfriend:

  • his horn is a convenient thing to hang stuff on
  • saving gas money by just riding him everywhere

cons of having a unicorn for a boyfriend:

  • the constant jokes about being “horny”

fearsomeinnovation:

starlightexcellent:

My roommates and I carved pumpkins.

I made this one.

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Here it is with a candle.

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Happy Halloween.

GOD

bird-farts:

what if spicy salsa was actually satan’s jizz

my mom as a dentist: you're bleeding because you're on the computer too long

screamandshout:

levelonehulkling:

screamandshout:

hello friends britney is here

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goodbye friends britney is gone

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Stay gone

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just-a-mean-teen:

My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point

©